My aunt Mary died yesterday. She was older, and sick, and my cousins had just put her in a nursing home the day before. She just went downhill really fast once she got there. I can't make it to the funeral, and more than anything, it hurts to not be able to say goodbye. I want to be there for my family, and I want to be there with my family. I wasn't super close to her, but she's my aunt. She's my family.
I guess all I'm asking for is prayers/good thoughts to be sent across to Baltimore this week. I know that they'd be appreciated by everyone there.
I never knew her as well as I wanted to. It makes it harder that she's gone now and I can't even attempt to correct that. My Dad is the only one in his family now, except for some distant cousins that we don't even have addresses for. It was hard to deal with the relatives that I knew and loved on my Mom's side dying - this is probably worse.
I feel so far away - and so unbelievably helpless.
-Bethy
Monday, March 9, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio
Miss Ohio is a fantastic Gillian Welch song. As as I'm listening to it, the words are wrapping me up in a blanket of comfort. Each drumbeat mirrors the beating of my own heart, and the fingerpicked guitar strings dance around like the possibilities of the future in my own head. Leave tomorrow to tomorrow, leave 11 days to 11 days, leave discernment weekend to when it comes. It'll come soon enough, but for now, I'm here, and I'm living this life to the fullest. I know I won't be here forever, and I'm grieving a little bit for that already. But I can't waste my time with that now...the time will come.
Oh me oh my oh look at Miss Ohio
She's runnin around with her rag top down
She says I wanna do right, but not right now
I guess that would make more sense to fully explain what's been on my mind for quite a while. In my last post, I talked a little bit about waiting for the phone interview for JVI. JVI has many hundreds of applicants every year, and there's only 25 placements. So, to facilitate with cutting the number down, they have three checkpoints - one is after receiving everyone's application. If they like your application, then you are scheduled for a phone interview. Then they make another cut, and if they still want to talk to you more, they invited you to a discernment weekend in one of 4 locations in the US. There are 80 people invited to discernment weekends, and still only 25 placements. After the weekend, when you've done a personal interview, they decide who would be best for the placements that they have.
Well, after my phone interview I was on pins and needles for a while, until I got the email that they were inviting me on a discernment weekend. So, in 11 days, I'm flying to San Francisco, and that weekend, I'm going to the weekend retreat in Santa Clara. Am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. I'm feeling...well, I'm feeling everything...I don't know how else to describe it. Two years of service in a foreign country is a big commitment. One that I don't think I ever realized that I would have the chance to take.
It's hard, though, to not be thinking about the future so much that I'm forgetting the present. My time will come...for whatever is coming. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy the weekend.
love, bethy
Oh me oh my oh look at Miss Ohio
She's runnin around with her rag top down
She says I wanna do right, but not right now
I guess that would make more sense to fully explain what's been on my mind for quite a while. In my last post, I talked a little bit about waiting for the phone interview for JVI. JVI has many hundreds of applicants every year, and there's only 25 placements. So, to facilitate with cutting the number down, they have three checkpoints - one is after receiving everyone's application. If they like your application, then you are scheduled for a phone interview. Then they make another cut, and if they still want to talk to you more, they invited you to a discernment weekend in one of 4 locations in the US. There are 80 people invited to discernment weekends, and still only 25 placements. After the weekend, when you've done a personal interview, they decide who would be best for the placements that they have.
Well, after my phone interview I was on pins and needles for a while, until I got the email that they were inviting me on a discernment weekend. So, in 11 days, I'm flying to San Francisco, and that weekend, I'm going to the weekend retreat in Santa Clara. Am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. I'm feeling...well, I'm feeling everything...I don't know how else to describe it. Two years of service in a foreign country is a big commitment. One that I don't think I ever realized that I would have the chance to take.
It's hard, though, to not be thinking about the future so much that I'm forgetting the present. My time will come...for whatever is coming. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy the weekend.
love, bethy
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