The end of another weekend...
I made sausage yesterday morning, then went to Saturday market, and stayed at home and watched the Office last night. Low key weekend = probably a change I needed.
I'm leaving for home in 6 days, and as excited as I am, there's a nervousness there too, which I did not expect at all. I miss my friends so bad, but I know that the person that I am when I left Lacey on August 8 is completely transformed. And, just like when I left for college, and came back that first time, yes, I am expecting things to not sit exactly right.
I don't know how I'll react to being home, now that this, at least in part, has become my home. Faster than anywhere else, this is home. It's comforting and terrifying at the same time.
...such is life, eh?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Take her back, Josephine.
This song just seemed appropriate. It's beautiful, and I think it fits that my Busia's name was Josephine. I'm really going to miss Aunt Eleanor.
Josephine by Brandi Carlile
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Noontime wind can you blow
For me one more time
And take me on back to the start
Where the midnight moon shines so bright
Nearly pulled us up to Heaven
By the strings of our heart
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Morning sun shine on me
Come light inside my window
And rest on my brow
Kiss my eyes when I sleep
And carry me back home
If my dreams will allow
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm dying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Someone help me understand why I'm still loving you
Josephine by Brandi Carlile
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Noontime wind can you blow
For me one more time
And take me on back to the start
Where the midnight moon shines so bright
Nearly pulled us up to Heaven
By the strings of our heart
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Morning sun shine on me
Come light inside my window
And rest on my brow
Kiss my eyes when I sleep
And carry me back home
If my dreams will allow
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm dying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Someone help me understand why I'm still loving you
Aunt Eleanor Falejczyk
In and amongst all the life going on in my life, and in Bethel, and in the world, there is also death. One of those things you don't think about until it hits you right between the eyes, and forces you to look at it right in the face and think about it.
My great aunt Eleanor (my mom's mom's brother's wife) died last night in a hospital in New York, and I guess that it's not so much that I had a super close relationship to her (though I did see her pretty much every time I went back to visit Busia) as much as the feeling of loss in the family as a whole. She was the only connection I ever felt to my Uncle Frankie, who died when I was 2 or something like that, and who I only can see in pictures. And Aunt Eleanor, the last time I saw her, was still so spunky. That is one thing that I can say for the women in my family, whether related by blood or marriage. We're all pretty spunky. No matter how old we get.
It's hard to be so far away up here, and feel like I can't be there with my family. October was the one year since Busia died, and I couldn't believe it had gone so fast. But at the same time, I miss her so much, and I think about her more often than I ever did before she was sick. It's ironic how someone not being there anymore makes you realize how important they were to you, and how much you may have taken them for granted.
I think it's hard for me also, because for a period of time, after my grandfather died, and before Busia died, there weren't any deaths that I had to deal with. There were about 11 or 12 years where I didn't have to confront death, and then, in the past year and couple months, there have been 3 deaths in my family. I guess you just get out of practice.
If anything else, this just makes me want to go to NY and be with my cousins, and my aunts and uncles, as dysfunctional as we all are. I barely know my cousins on my Mom's side, and I have only met most of the relatives on my Dad's side once. And I don't want to be the estranged family member just because of geography. It's hard enough to lose family, but I think it may even be harder to lose family that you wish you knew better. I wish I had been able to talk to Aunt Eleanor more often. I should have written her more letters. And I wish that I could have listened to more of her stories. I feel like when family members die, a little piece of me dies too. Because we're all the keepers of our history, and there are pieces that we'll never know now.
I know that there is nothing that I can do, but I still feel really poorly about that fact. I know that death comes for everyone at some time, but it still hurts a lot. I hope she didn't suffer. I hope she knew how much she was loved, and I know now that she's somewhere, with Uncle Frankie, and Busia, and Grandpa, and all their friends, looking down and not wanting us to cry. But the tears flow anyway, as they always will.
My great aunt Eleanor (my mom's mom's brother's wife) died last night in a hospital in New York, and I guess that it's not so much that I had a super close relationship to her (though I did see her pretty much every time I went back to visit Busia) as much as the feeling of loss in the family as a whole. She was the only connection I ever felt to my Uncle Frankie, who died when I was 2 or something like that, and who I only can see in pictures. And Aunt Eleanor, the last time I saw her, was still so spunky. That is one thing that I can say for the women in my family, whether related by blood or marriage. We're all pretty spunky. No matter how old we get.
It's hard to be so far away up here, and feel like I can't be there with my family. October was the one year since Busia died, and I couldn't believe it had gone so fast. But at the same time, I miss her so much, and I think about her more often than I ever did before she was sick. It's ironic how someone not being there anymore makes you realize how important they were to you, and how much you may have taken them for granted.
I think it's hard for me also, because for a period of time, after my grandfather died, and before Busia died, there weren't any deaths that I had to deal with. There were about 11 or 12 years where I didn't have to confront death, and then, in the past year and couple months, there have been 3 deaths in my family. I guess you just get out of practice.
If anything else, this just makes me want to go to NY and be with my cousins, and my aunts and uncles, as dysfunctional as we all are. I barely know my cousins on my Mom's side, and I have only met most of the relatives on my Dad's side once. And I don't want to be the estranged family member just because of geography. It's hard enough to lose family, but I think it may even be harder to lose family that you wish you knew better. I wish I had been able to talk to Aunt Eleanor more often. I should have written her more letters. And I wish that I could have listened to more of her stories. I feel like when family members die, a little piece of me dies too. Because we're all the keepers of our history, and there are pieces that we'll never know now.
I know that there is nothing that I can do, but I still feel really poorly about that fact. I know that death comes for everyone at some time, but it still hurts a lot. I hope she didn't suffer. I hope she knew how much she was loved, and I know now that she's somewhere, with Uncle Frankie, and Busia, and Grandpa, and all their friends, looking down and not wanting us to cry. But the tears flow anyway, as they always will.
Monday, December 1, 2008
purposely ambiguous blog
I wonder why fear scares me so much. I mean, FDR was, right, I think when he said "the only thing to fear is fear itself." But becoming frozen by your fear is crazy. I know it's nuts. And it happens to me anyway. And I'm not sure how to defrost myself.
I know I care, so why do I insist that I do not? And how do I deal with the fact that sometimes I can't even tell what's the lie I'm putting out there because I don't want others to know the truth, and what I really feel. The actor is caught not knowing what is her scripted line, and what is the line from her heart. How can I ever be true to anything, or anyone, if I don't know what my truth is? And who decides what truth is? My truth is different than yours, and yours from everyone else's. The truth that comes from knowing oneself is a dream that slips through my grasping fingers the moment I wake, and only in my dreams can I see who I am, and see myself in harmony with the world.
And at the moment, I feel a little like a dysfunctional salt shaker. One that either sprinkles too little salt or too much, never able to walk the middle line.
I fear change, yet, I fear staying in one place. Falling in love with everywhere, yet, never being satiated. I want to explore, I want to see things, but I will need a place to be home. I'm afraid that I won't ever find that. I won't ever find the one thing I'm looking for most fervently, and all my prayers in the world can't help me if I'm in my own way. But I don't even know if I am. If I knew the reason, I'd fix it. But trying different medications without a proper diagnosis isn't healthy. And maybe neither is this.
The problem is that I won't know until it's too late.
I know in my heart that it's not the end. I have faith that it's just the beginning. But I also have the self-doubt that I'll ever get there.
I know I care, so why do I insist that I do not? And how do I deal with the fact that sometimes I can't even tell what's the lie I'm putting out there because I don't want others to know the truth, and what I really feel. The actor is caught not knowing what is her scripted line, and what is the line from her heart. How can I ever be true to anything, or anyone, if I don't know what my truth is? And who decides what truth is? My truth is different than yours, and yours from everyone else's. The truth that comes from knowing oneself is a dream that slips through my grasping fingers the moment I wake, and only in my dreams can I see who I am, and see myself in harmony with the world.
And at the moment, I feel a little like a dysfunctional salt shaker. One that either sprinkles too little salt or too much, never able to walk the middle line.
I fear change, yet, I fear staying in one place. Falling in love with everywhere, yet, never being satiated. I want to explore, I want to see things, but I will need a place to be home. I'm afraid that I won't ever find that. I won't ever find the one thing I'm looking for most fervently, and all my prayers in the world can't help me if I'm in my own way. But I don't even know if I am. If I knew the reason, I'd fix it. But trying different medications without a proper diagnosis isn't healthy. And maybe neither is this.
The problem is that I won't know until it's too late.
I know in my heart that it's not the end. I have faith that it's just the beginning. But I also have the self-doubt that I'll ever get there.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
tofu and other thoughts
I just had tofu for the first time since I moved from home. Wow. Tofu and a good conversation. It kind of blew my socks off how much I missed it. (I mean, I get good conversation here pretty regularly, but definitely not tofu.)
So I've been thinking quite a lot about what next year means in terms of where I'm going to be living and what I'm going to be doing. I am going to be applying to Jesuit Volunteers International (working on the application now) but I also know that many people apply to JVI every year, and many don't get in.
I also know that Bethel is a place that even if I leave, I won't ever be able to forget. Maybe it's because of the people I've met here, maybe it's the awesome beauty of the tundra, maybe it's the work I'm doing, but there is something about it here that makes it hard to think about leaving.
I've been trying to open myself up to all the options, but, in the way that I always manage to do, I get all fucked up over everything. Is it worth the fear of leaving to go? Or is it worth the fear of everyone else leaving to stay?
Though I don't consider this any final decision at all, this song by Slaid Cleaves really spoke to me. I figure when things like this jump out at me, it's probably worth it to listen to what they're saying, right?
So I've been thinking quite a lot about what next year means in terms of where I'm going to be living and what I'm going to be doing. I am going to be applying to Jesuit Volunteers International (working on the application now) but I also know that many people apply to JVI every year, and many don't get in.
I also know that Bethel is a place that even if I leave, I won't ever be able to forget. Maybe it's because of the people I've met here, maybe it's the awesome beauty of the tundra, maybe it's the work I'm doing, but there is something about it here that makes it hard to think about leaving.
I've been trying to open myself up to all the options, but, in the way that I always manage to do, I get all fucked up over everything. Is it worth the fear of leaving to go? Or is it worth the fear of everyone else leaving to stay?
Though I don't consider this any final decision at all, this song by Slaid Cleaves really spoke to me. I figure when things like this jump out at me, it's probably worth it to listen to what they're saying, right?
One Good Year
It's New Year's Day
Just like the day before
Same old skies of grey
Same empty bottles on the floor
Another year gone by
And I'm thinking once again
How can I take this losing hand
And somehow win
Just give me one good year
To get my feet back on the ground
I've been chasing grace
But grace ain't so easily found
One bad hand can devil a man
Chase him and carry him down
I gotta get out of here
Just give me one good year
I'm burning oil
Engine's running rough
I drive from job to job
But it's never enough
I can't find the will
To just up and get away
Some kind of chains holding me down
To make me stay.
Just give me one good year.....
It's a bitter wind
In your face every day
It's the little sins
That wear your soul away
When you start giving in
Where do the promises all go
Will your darkest hour
Write a blank check on your soul
Just give me one good year
To get my feet back on the ground
I've been chasing grace
But grace ain't so easily found
One bad hand can devil a man
A good one can turn him around
I gotta get out of here
Just give me one good year
I gotta get out of here
Just give me one good year
Sunday, November 23, 2008
record
Record Report
Statement as of 9:28 am EST on November 23, 2008
Record event report: National Weather Service Bethel AK 5:30 am akst Sun. Nov 23 2008... New low temperature record set for the 23rd... at 4:22 am akst the temperature reached 26 degrees below zero.This breaks the record of 21 below set November 23 1988.
The crazy part is that ambient temperature of -26 doesn't mean much when there's a 20 mph wind blowing across town. That's when the temperature is really -46. Wow.
Statement as of 9:28 am EST on November 23, 2008
Record event report: National Weather Service Bethel AK 5:30 am akst Sun. Nov 23 2008... New low temperature record set for the 23rd... at 4:22 am akst the temperature reached 26 degrees below zero.This breaks the record of 21 below set November 23 1988.
The crazy part is that ambient temperature of -26 doesn't mean much when there's a 20 mph wind blowing across town. That's when the temperature is really -46. Wow.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
It's getting colder.
I'm sitting in my living room, drinking chai tea and dreading - not going to work exactly, but the walk to work... It's currently around 3 degrees ambient, but the wind is blowing, and with windchill, it's around -20. Say you don't believe me? Proof.
Current Conditions
Bethel, Alaska (Airport) Updated: 1 hr 32 min 46 sec ago
-3 °F / -19 °C
Scattered Clouds
Windchill: -21 °F / -29 °C
Humidity: 82%
Dew Point: -7 °F / -22 °C
Wind: 12 mph / 18 km/h / 5.1 m/s from the NNW
Visibility: 10.0 miles / 16.1 kilometers
Snow Depth: 10.0 in / 25.40 cm
...now that's cold. But it's also only November. And I know it's going to get colder.
I'm in charge of this big project for Christmas/holiday time at work, and it's kind of stressing me out. Not because I think I can't do it, but because it's one of those things that happen every year, and a new person does it every year, and so I've got 16 other people's work to live up to. Ugh. And I really really really miss home. And SF. I mean, it's good here, but I think I've got a little Alaska-style cabin fever. (Not so hard when there's been snow outside and it's been cold for a month and a half.) I know that I'm just not used to it, and it's just a very new experience to feel so isolated, and so stuck. I think maybe even just getting into Anchorage at this point would be good, but I'm not scheduled to go anywhere (anywhere urban at least, village travel happens every once and a while) until I go home, but that seems so far away right now. Yes, even though I know that it's only going to be a month and a couple of days...
Ahh...a month and a couple of days...that sounds so amazing. And I'll be home for two weeks and I'll be able to drive on real roads, and go to a movie, and ...the possibilities are endless. And that's another thing: NEVER AGAIN will I complain that there is nothing to do in Lacey. You think it's lame? Really? Move to Bethel, and then tell me how lame it is. You have SO MANY OPTIONS! (Yes! Even if one of them is just hanging out at Denny's all night...)
Alright, one more topic of conversation before I have some breakfast and get ready for work. (I'm not just lazy, on Tuesdays, I work from 1:00-9:00pm because I have evening childcare for the group that happens for the women in the shelter.) I was convinced that coming up here, I was going to blow up like someone had taken a tire pump to me. That's all I'd heard, that everyone gains weight like CRAZY, especially once the snow starts (makes sense...when your body gets this cold, it starts storing everything it can...) Had a bit of a rocky start, gaining some weight when I first got here, but, I'm happy to say that I'm not completely miserable about the state of my weight. And yes, maybe I'm just being a stupid girl about it, but I don't care. On the other hand, I've lost all muscle tone in my body whatsoever, so there you go. I really need to work out when I'm home for Christmas.
So, Obama won the election. (Yay!) I think that I knew it was going to happen. I was counting on America with a strange optimism, and, for the first time in what feels like forever, I'm really fuckin' proud of my country. And then Christine Gregoire won, and most of the local WA elections that I was looking at went the way I wanted them to...
...and then Prop 8 passed. And I really couldn't believe it. It was like a sock in the stomach, and I kind of felt sick for a while. And I know that you can't always get everything you want, but...if I could have done anything...it sucks. And yet, we're on our way to something better, and I believe that America is going to be forced to look at issues that we've enjoyed avoiding for years. And on Nov. 4th, as I was sitting in a friend's living room with a bunch of other liberal 20 to 30 somethings, it occured to me that maybe, just maybe starting now, we have stopped being spectators, and starting being citizens again. And that was really exciting.
So that's where I'm at. Mostly just the same person, with some expanded musical tastes and skills, a job where I'm forced to confront the most traumatizing things that have ever happened to other people every day, lots of Franzia box wine (cause it's cheap, easy to transport, and mostly just tastes like juice), and a realization that there is nowhere else in America quite like Bethel.
Everyone should check out the song "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Ben Sollee. Besides having a wicked cello part at the beginning, it's a pretty amazing song. He called it. It did come and will come... (oohh....I do believe that that's what she said:)
Love, Bethy
Current Conditions
Bethel, Alaska (Airport) Updated: 1 hr 32 min 46 sec ago
-3 °F / -19 °C
Scattered Clouds
Windchill: -21 °F / -29 °C
Humidity: 82%
Dew Point: -7 °F / -22 °C
Wind: 12 mph / 18 km/h / 5.1 m/s from the NNW
Visibility: 10.0 miles / 16.1 kilometers
Snow Depth: 10.0 in / 25.40 cm
...now that's cold. But it's also only November. And I know it's going to get colder.
I'm in charge of this big project for Christmas/holiday time at work, and it's kind of stressing me out. Not because I think I can't do it, but because it's one of those things that happen every year, and a new person does it every year, and so I've got 16 other people's work to live up to. Ugh. And I really really really miss home. And SF. I mean, it's good here, but I think I've got a little Alaska-style cabin fever. (Not so hard when there's been snow outside and it's been cold for a month and a half.) I know that I'm just not used to it, and it's just a very new experience to feel so isolated, and so stuck. I think maybe even just getting into Anchorage at this point would be good, but I'm not scheduled to go anywhere (anywhere urban at least, village travel happens every once and a while) until I go home, but that seems so far away right now. Yes, even though I know that it's only going to be a month and a couple of days...
Ahh...a month and a couple of days...that sounds so amazing. And I'll be home for two weeks and I'll be able to drive on real roads, and go to a movie, and ...the possibilities are endless. And that's another thing: NEVER AGAIN will I complain that there is nothing to do in Lacey. You think it's lame? Really? Move to Bethel, and then tell me how lame it is. You have SO MANY OPTIONS! (Yes! Even if one of them is just hanging out at Denny's all night...)
Alright, one more topic of conversation before I have some breakfast and get ready for work. (I'm not just lazy, on Tuesdays, I work from 1:00-9:00pm because I have evening childcare for the group that happens for the women in the shelter.) I was convinced that coming up here, I was going to blow up like someone had taken a tire pump to me. That's all I'd heard, that everyone gains weight like CRAZY, especially once the snow starts (makes sense...when your body gets this cold, it starts storing everything it can...) Had a bit of a rocky start, gaining some weight when I first got here, but, I'm happy to say that I'm not completely miserable about the state of my weight. And yes, maybe I'm just being a stupid girl about it, but I don't care. On the other hand, I've lost all muscle tone in my body whatsoever, so there you go. I really need to work out when I'm home for Christmas.
So, Obama won the election. (Yay!) I think that I knew it was going to happen. I was counting on America with a strange optimism, and, for the first time in what feels like forever, I'm really fuckin' proud of my country. And then Christine Gregoire won, and most of the local WA elections that I was looking at went the way I wanted them to...
...and then Prop 8 passed. And I really couldn't believe it. It was like a sock in the stomach, and I kind of felt sick for a while. And I know that you can't always get everything you want, but...if I could have done anything...it sucks. And yet, we're on our way to something better, and I believe that America is going to be forced to look at issues that we've enjoyed avoiding for years. And on Nov. 4th, as I was sitting in a friend's living room with a bunch of other liberal 20 to 30 somethings, it occured to me that maybe, just maybe starting now, we have stopped being spectators, and starting being citizens again. And that was really exciting.
So that's where I'm at. Mostly just the same person, with some expanded musical tastes and skills, a job where I'm forced to confront the most traumatizing things that have ever happened to other people every day, lots of Franzia box wine (cause it's cheap, easy to transport, and mostly just tastes like juice), and a realization that there is nowhere else in America quite like Bethel.
Everyone should check out the song "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Ben Sollee. Besides having a wicked cello part at the beginning, it's a pretty amazing song. He called it. It did come and will come... (oohh....I do believe that that's what she said:)
Love, Bethy
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Kids in the villages
So much in so little time...
...well, ok, yes, it has been almost two months since my last blog. Things just seem to get in the way - life gets in the way.
I've now been to three other villages besides Tuluksak. Akiak, Akiachak, and Kotlik (which is by the Bering Sea, and on the Yukon River instead of the Kuskokwim.) Going to the villages is always so fun, but so exhausting. In Kotlik, I presented the TAT and bullying curriculums to seven classes in one day. Seven! That's a lot of talking about touching! And I always meet kids who touch my heart in villages. Kids who want to know everything about you, and follow you around, and say heart wrenching things like "I'll never forget you" or "Can you come live with me and stay forever?" And then you hate to look into their doe eyes and say "no, I have to go back to Bethel." Yeah.
I'll write more later. I have so much to do, and it's busy busy busy all the time. Crazy.
-B
...well, ok, yes, it has been almost two months since my last blog. Things just seem to get in the way - life gets in the way.
I've now been to three other villages besides Tuluksak. Akiak, Akiachak, and Kotlik (which is by the Bering Sea, and on the Yukon River instead of the Kuskokwim.) Going to the villages is always so fun, but so exhausting. In Kotlik, I presented the TAT and bullying curriculums to seven classes in one day. Seven! That's a lot of talking about touching! And I always meet kids who touch my heart in villages. Kids who want to know everything about you, and follow you around, and say heart wrenching things like "I'll never forget you" or "Can you come live with me and stay forever?" And then you hate to look into their doe eyes and say "no, I have to go back to Bethel." Yeah.
I'll write more later. I have so much to do, and it's busy busy busy all the time. Crazy.
-B
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Tuluksak, here I come!
I know it's been a while since I've updated, and I'm sorry for that. Life here is pretty busy, especially since it's summer, and it's been nice outside.
One of the prime things to do when it's nice weather is to go berry picking out on the tundra. The berries are tiny blueberries that are about half to a third of the size of blueberries downstates (that would be in the lower 48. They call it "downstates" here...) but they have the flavor of a handfull of regular blueberries, and apparently, they have some insanely huge amount of antioxidants too. It's something about the cold weather that makes them grow differently.
And speaking of the cold... :) No, I'm not freezing yet. It's gotten colder in the last week though...one day I walked to work at 8:45, and it was 39 degrees outside. But a 15 minute brisk walk warms you right up, and it's heated in every building here if it's cold. And in the last couple of days, it's heated up again, and now it's 50 to 55 during the day.
I've been kept busy, very busy with getting trained for my job, which is pretty damn intense, but somehow, fun at the same time. I work with amazing people, and we're all just people who care about other people, and want to do our best to get them out of dangerous situations, and help them aquire the skills they need to continue on without our help. Yes, sometimes it's really frustrating, and sometimes it's a little scary, and alot of the time it's just plain emotionally draining. But cuddling those little Yup'ik kids, and knowing that they don't get that kind of affection on a regular basis, and working with their mothers, and thinking that even just one change could save someone's life, or prevent sexual assault.... It's a really incredible feeling. It's like if I'm helping one person, that's enough reason for me to be doing this job.
I'm traveling to Tuluksak tomorrow for work. Tuluksak is a village on the Kuskokwim River (the same river Bethel is on) upriver. Since this part of Alaska isn't on the road system, we're boating up there. It's an hour and a half boat ride, and then we're going to be doing presentations in the school all day. The younger kids get a presentation about safe and unsafe touch, and the older kids get a presentation about bullying. We'll also do one about the effects of domestic violence on kids for the teachers in the school. I'm excited because this is my first village.
In completely unrelated news, I'm in a band. We practice a couple times a week, we jam at the community center, and in people's houses. I'm learning how to play the guitar, and the mandolin, and learning how to bluegrass fiddle on my violin, and I'm having a blast.
I have more to say, but it'll have to wait. I'm going to post pictures on facebook SOON!
-Bethy
One of the prime things to do when it's nice weather is to go berry picking out on the tundra. The berries are tiny blueberries that are about half to a third of the size of blueberries downstates (that would be in the lower 48. They call it "downstates" here...) but they have the flavor of a handfull of regular blueberries, and apparently, they have some insanely huge amount of antioxidants too. It's something about the cold weather that makes them grow differently.
And speaking of the cold... :) No, I'm not freezing yet. It's gotten colder in the last week though...one day I walked to work at 8:45, and it was 39 degrees outside. But a 15 minute brisk walk warms you right up, and it's heated in every building here if it's cold. And in the last couple of days, it's heated up again, and now it's 50 to 55 during the day.
I've been kept busy, very busy with getting trained for my job, which is pretty damn intense, but somehow, fun at the same time. I work with amazing people, and we're all just people who care about other people, and want to do our best to get them out of dangerous situations, and help them aquire the skills they need to continue on without our help. Yes, sometimes it's really frustrating, and sometimes it's a little scary, and alot of the time it's just plain emotionally draining. But cuddling those little Yup'ik kids, and knowing that they don't get that kind of affection on a regular basis, and working with their mothers, and thinking that even just one change could save someone's life, or prevent sexual assault.... It's a really incredible feeling. It's like if I'm helping one person, that's enough reason for me to be doing this job.
I'm traveling to Tuluksak tomorrow for work. Tuluksak is a village on the Kuskokwim River (the same river Bethel is on) upriver. Since this part of Alaska isn't on the road system, we're boating up there. It's an hour and a half boat ride, and then we're going to be doing presentations in the school all day. The younger kids get a presentation about safe and unsafe touch, and the older kids get a presentation about bullying. We'll also do one about the effects of domestic violence on kids for the teachers in the school. I'm excited because this is my first village.
In completely unrelated news, I'm in a band. We practice a couple times a week, we jam at the community center, and in people's houses. I'm learning how to play the guitar, and the mandolin, and learning how to bluegrass fiddle on my violin, and I'm having a blast.
I have more to say, but it'll have to wait. I'm going to post pictures on facebook SOON!
-Bethy
Monday, August 18, 2008
I'm employed! ...
...so clearly, somebody thought I had some skills.
More specifically, that would be an organization called the Tundra Women's Coalition, a domestic violence/sexual assualt shelter. I'm going to be working part of my time with the Children's Program (doing after school work with them, one on ones with kids, writing skits and working with teens to perform them about teen dating violence, and much much more), and part of the time with the Children's Advocacy Center, which is a center specifically for children and their families when there has been a suspician of child sexual abuse. For them, I'm going to be working with the children, and especially the families. Plus, there are a bunch of other side projects that I'm going to be picking up here and there...
I'm super excited. A little intimidated, yes, but excited.
...Figures that I'd get a social-justicy job like that, huh? :)
(and yes, they are paying me...quite well...um, well, alright, considering that a gallon of milk is $9.49 at the grocery store, and that price rises as the winter comes.)
-b
More specifically, that would be an organization called the Tundra Women's Coalition, a domestic violence/sexual assualt shelter. I'm going to be working part of my time with the Children's Program (doing after school work with them, one on ones with kids, writing skits and working with teens to perform them about teen dating violence, and much much more), and part of the time with the Children's Advocacy Center, which is a center specifically for children and their families when there has been a suspician of child sexual abuse. For them, I'm going to be working with the children, and especially the families. Plus, there are a bunch of other side projects that I'm going to be picking up here and there...
I'm super excited. A little intimidated, yes, but excited.
...Figures that I'd get a social-justicy job like that, huh? :)
(and yes, they are paying me...quite well...um, well, alright, considering that a gallon of milk is $9.49 at the grocery store, and that price rises as the winter comes.)
-b
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
How to reach me/Where to find me
Helloooooooo!
For all of y'all a-wanting to contact me, here's how you do it.
PO Box 546
Bethel, AK 99559
(907) 543-0427
marybeth.whalen@gmail.com
For all of y'all a-wanting to contact me, here's how you do it.
PO Box 546
Bethel, AK 99559
(907) 543-0427
marybeth.whalen@gmail.com
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Day 2
Day 2
and it's SUNNY and HOT!
Did I sign up for Alaska, or did I sign up for Mexico?!?! Well, ok, maybe it's not exactly that hot...but it is warm T-shirt/sleeveless weather, at least in the sun. It's a good transition, too, because it's good to be able to wear some of the shirts I brought without having to cover up with a sweater (and a parka).
I am slowly figuring out the town, it's a little confusing at first, even though it essentially just goes in a big circle, it's big enough to get lost, which is, incidentially, something that I did NOT do, even when I found that I had lost my sister at church this morning, and I made it back home myself.
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm staying. I know I'm here, and it's a way cool experience, but it's still very surreal that I'm not going to be leaving....it's like I have to strike out. I have some friends here, but I have to make my own too, and I feel like maybe it's even harder to do that because Lisa's here, so it's easier to just stick with her. But I'll go do it...it's just really more intimidating to do than it is to say.
I miss everyone, but things are so new and exciting, and it's nuts....
LOVE, Bethy
and it's SUNNY and HOT!
Did I sign up for Alaska, or did I sign up for Mexico?!?! Well, ok, maybe it's not exactly that hot...but it is warm T-shirt/sleeveless weather, at least in the sun. It's a good transition, too, because it's good to be able to wear some of the shirts I brought without having to cover up with a sweater (and a parka).
I am slowly figuring out the town, it's a little confusing at first, even though it essentially just goes in a big circle, it's big enough to get lost, which is, incidentially, something that I did NOT do, even when I found that I had lost my sister at church this morning, and I made it back home myself.
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm staying. I know I'm here, and it's a way cool experience, but it's still very surreal that I'm not going to be leaving....it's like I have to strike out. I have some friends here, but I have to make my own too, and I feel like maybe it's even harder to do that because Lisa's here, so it's easier to just stick with her. But I'll go do it...it's just really more intimidating to do than it is to say.
I miss everyone, but things are so new and exciting, and it's nuts....
LOVE, Bethy
Saturday, August 9, 2008
...and I'm only at the airport.
It's 3:29 am Alaska time.
I'm at the Anchorage airport using the unexpected free wireless, sitting at the gate that my flight to Bethel will depart from in another 4 hours.
I'm exuasted.
But we're right next to a 24 hour Starbucks, and judge me if you will, but I took advantage of good coffee before it may be gone forever.
I'm a little nervous, but that didn't keep me from noticing that most of the people sitting here at the Bethel gate with me are men. Wait, scratch that. I'm the only one sitting. The other people waiting for the morning jet are doing what normal people do at 3 in the morning...they're sleeping. But they're mostly guys...and yes, in the grand tradition of me being me, I have already checked out most of them.
...and, yes...most of them are pretty cute.
Oh man...on the make again. Scratch "again"...on the make still.
I'm listening to Blue Scholars...
"We're broke but not broken, cold but not frozen, lost but not forgotten, we kickin' the doors open."
PERFECT.
Love, Bethy
I'm at the Anchorage airport using the unexpected free wireless, sitting at the gate that my flight to Bethel will depart from in another 4 hours.
I'm exuasted.
But we're right next to a 24 hour Starbucks, and judge me if you will, but I took advantage of good coffee before it may be gone forever.
I'm a little nervous, but that didn't keep me from noticing that most of the people sitting here at the Bethel gate with me are men. Wait, scratch that. I'm the only one sitting. The other people waiting for the morning jet are doing what normal people do at 3 in the morning...they're sleeping. But they're mostly guys...and yes, in the grand tradition of me being me, I have already checked out most of them.
...and, yes...most of them are pretty cute.
Oh man...on the make again. Scratch "again"...on the make still.
I'm listening to Blue Scholars...
"We're broke but not broken, cold but not frozen, lost but not forgotten, we kickin' the doors open."
PERFECT.
Love, Bethy
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