Sun Rising

(the title of this blog is in reference to and in appreciation of my friend Scott Donovan and his blog Redbird Rising that tells his adventures as a second year JV in Pheonix. If you want to feel a little better that someone is helping the wounds of the world heal, read his blog. Then, send him a postcard or something fun because he makes no money doing this...)

So, sun rising. I looked out the window just about 10 minutes ago and saw the sun rising. I am fortunate enough to have a window seat in my office, and though I'm not staring out the window every second, when I'm looking at my computer screen, what's going on outside is visible at all times through the wonder that is peripheral vision. Pretty much every day for the last few weeks, I have taken a minute or two when the sun is set to rise to just look at it, to see the snow glistening, to take a few pictures of the ball of orange come up over by the radio tower, then the shop, then City sub as the sun has moved where it rises in preparation for the solstice.

I'll be at home for the shortest day of the year, which makes me a little sad. It seems like an overly sappy theological comparison, but I like to see the darkest day turn into the day after, that no matter how bad, is, by comparison, a little lighter. I guess I think of it as a little Dark Night of the Soul business.

And up here, it's dark. Today, official sunrise was 10:50am, sunset 4:30pm. 5 hours, 40 minutes of day.

It's also -25 degree windchill, which is the topic for another day. That is FINE if you are just walking from your house to your car, but the frostnip on my face has not been enjoying the walks to/from work. Tonight it's supposed to get a little colder, and tomorrow and Thursday are expected 20 to 35 below. Washington is going to feel absolutely tropic!

Speaking of, I'm excited to be home for a few weeks (just short of two), it'll be good to see friends and family, and eat all the Polish food I possibly can. YUM.

Love, Bethy

...and all of a sudden, it was December

Where is the time going?

It honestly feels like I've just been back in Bethel for a month or two, and already, I'm starting to prepare to head home for Christmas. Month 4 is coming up, and winter is in full bore. 2011 is coming in less than a month, and my first semester classes at KuC (guitar, science fiction movie class and jumprope) are either ending soon or have already ended.

The Swan Court String Band performed at the Cultural Center on Saturday to an absolutely fantastic audience, and it was a blast! It was amazing feeling to do a whole show by ourselves. If nothing else, I think that sometimes I need a little reminder that I'm essentially a performer at heart, and the stage lights always remind me of that - every time.

It's cold this morning - with windchill, -22 degrees. It hasn't been that chilly recently, and honestly, I'm hoping that the cold will wait until I'm back in WA for Christmas. Haha. That's probably a completely unrealistic wish, but I will wish for it anyway.

I'm cooking and baking more, which I love, and making up recipes with whatever I can find. And I'm working on my guitar skills especially now that my class is over, and I want to keep working on fine tuning some of my violin skills. I think I'm ready to retrieve my copy of my Mendelssohn concerto when I'm home for Christmas, and start working on it again. I need to find that drive to perfect it that I had senior year of high school.

I find that as I grow older, I don't have the same push to be better at things. I tend to avoid things that I'm bad at instead of trying to get better at them. Maybe in 2011, I'll start working on that, haha.

Enough for now - work, then violin lesson, then dinner, then sleep. Sleep just isn't happening as much as it used to/should. Sometimes I miss it, but more than that, I'm just tired all the time, and I miss feeling rested. And it's doing bad things for my coffee addiction. :)

Love you all, see many of you in 3 weeks!!

Bethy

Amaze Me

Amaze Me
by Ty Greenstein
(© 2001)

New Jersey born, yeah
The flat land of Nebraska
From Decatur, Georgia
To California

Let's dig up the map and
Let's leave while we're happy
I wanna see Tucson
Before it's all gone

Chorus:
Amaze me, America
Save me from armageddon, high road to heaven

Eight hours at the airport
Wanna hightail to Gulfport
Wanna sit on the back porch
And stare at the stars

From the chemical water
Of new york's dirty harbor
To the rock of gibraltar
At the end of the world

Chorus

Let's dive to Atlantis
Let's hear what they'd tell us
From the bottom of the ocean
I really want to know them

Chorus

Hallowizzle, Jersey Style...

I had to.

Ok, I didn't have to, but...no, I had to.

Snooki appeared in Bethel for Halloween (actually halloween eve, but who's counting?)...

and the only thing that topped my 8 inch hair was my dark brown fake tan.

pictures soon.

Love, Bethy

This is exactly how I feel about DADT.

(compliments of one of my favorite TV shows of all time...)

The West Wing - Let Bartlett be Bartlett

THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT

MAJOR THOMPSON - Hang on!

SAM - I'm saying -

MAJOR THOMPSON - Hang on. A lot of those cases -

SAM - This report, by the way -

MAJOR TATE - We know the report.

SAM - I'm saying -

MAJOR TATE - We can read. We know the report.

MAJOR THOMPSON - We know the report. A lot of the cases you're talking about is the gays being discharged, came from voluntary statements-

SAM - And a lot of these are not voluntary statements, not by any definition given by any civilian court in this country. It is not a voluntary statement when it's given to a psychotherapist, as in the case of former Marine corporal David Blessing. It is not a voluntary statement when it's made into a personal diary, as in the case of former West Point cadet Nicole Garrison. It is not when it's made after being asked, as in the case of master chief officer Diane Kelli. And it is not when it is coerced out of a service member through fear...through intimidation, through death threats, in terms of criminal prosecution, as in the case of former Air Force Major Bob Kiddis, former Marine gunnery sergeant Kevin Keys, and four sailors aboard the U.S.S. Essex.

MAJOR - Sam, you take care of your guys; we'll take care of ours.

SAM - You're not taking care of your guys. Your guys are out looking for jobs.

MAJOR THOMPSON - Those weren't our guys.

Admiral Fitzwallace enters [Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff]

MAJOR TATE - Oh my God.

MAJOR THOMPSON - Attention!

The officers in the room swiftly stand straight.

FITZWALLACE - Good afternoon, Sam.

SAM - Mr. Chairman.

FITZWALLACE - Congressman.

KEN - How do you do admiral?

FITZWALLACE - Good to meet you again, Ken. [to Mike] We haven't met.

MIKE - Mike Satchel.

FITZWALLACE - From Oregon?

MIKE - Yes, sir.

FITZWALLACE - Percy Fitzwallace.

MIKE - It's an honor to meet you, admiral.

FITZWALLACE - I imagine it would be. Yes.

SAM - Uh, Major Tate, Major Thompson, this is Chairman Fitzwallace.

FITZWALLACE - They're not gonna speak to me until I speak to them, Sam. They're pretty well-trained. [to Tate and Thompson] Stand easy, fellas. [sees the snack on the table] Is this Danish for everybody?

SAM - Oh. Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE - [to Tate and Thompson] We're discussing gays in the military, huh?

MAJOR THOMPSON - Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE - What do you think?

No response.

FITZWALLACE - I said what do you think?

MAJOR THOMPSON - Sir, we're here to help the White House form a possible-

FITZWALLACE - I know. I'm asking you what you think.

MAJOR TATE - Sir, we're not prejudiced toward homosexuals.

FITZWALLACE - You just don't want to see them serving in the Armed Forces?

MAJOR TATE - No sir, I don't.

FITZWALLACE - 'Cause they oppose a threat to unit discipline and cohesion.

MAJOR TATE - Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE - That's what I think too. I also think the military wasn't designed to be an instrument of social change.

MAJOR TATE - Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE - The problem with that is that what they were saying to me 50 years ago. Blacks shouldn't serve with Whites. It would disrupt the unit. You know what? It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it. The unit changed. I'm an admiral in the U.S. Navy and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff...Beat that with a stick. [to Ken] We'll see you, Ken. [leaves]

freeze: to change from the liquid to the solid state by loss of heat.

Things that are frozen:
puddles
small lakes
most of the tops of bigger lakes

Things that are not frozen (yet):
big lakes around the edges
slough
the river

Things that I'm hoping don't freeze at all:
our pipes
myself

Current Conditions:

Bethel, Alaska (Airport)

Updated: 5 min 26 sec ago

28 °F Light Snow Mist

Windchill:

19 °F

Sunrise: 9:23am
Sunset: 7:40am

Length of day: 10 hours 17 minutes

Step two is the hard part.

There are some things that I’m holding on to. They’re not good things. They’re things that make me feel angry and bitter and confused, but perhaps because I cannot understand them, I seem to be unable to heal. I’m certainly able to run away from them though, and they’re following me. I shouldn’t be dreaming about these things – these people, but my subconscious keeps bringing them up. What I’m refusing to address during my waking hours, I’m forced to deal with in sleep. They’re not physically close to me, but I’m carrying them both on my back every second of every day.

And as much as I really want to blame this on those people, I know that it’s me that has to shake them off. It’s not my fault, but it IS my responsibility. I didn’t ask to get hurt, but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. I can’t say that I’ve never unintentionally (or intentionally, for that matter) hurt someone else. Whether they did it on purpose or not, it’s there. And it’s mine to deal with. Step one: own it. Step two: ……….aw fuck.

Bethy